I told him and he was supportive but suggested abortion. I did not want children and agreed. It was such an emotional roller coaster at the time. When I finally did, they made me wait. The initial appointment led us to discover that I was further along than we first thought, and too far along to have an abortion in the state I reside.
I was told to jump on a plane to have one in a different state. I decided to keep her. We had our daughter and I do not regret my decision.
What I regret is the man I chose to have her with. Within a matter of months of her birth, he changed and drank. I was left home with a newborn all night while he partied. His drug and alcohol abuse, domestic violence, and cheating escalated, taking a toll on my mental health.
I did my best and I tried. Through family pressure, I married him when our daughter was nine months old. I locked myself in the bathroom on my wedding day and cried while everyone begged me to continue and told me it was right for my daughter. I downed some expensive champagne and walked down the aisle. I regretted every moment. The destructive behaviors escalated. I left him many times, but like abusers do, he dragged me back with sweet talk and promises. Those promises were empty, and many scary drunken nights followed.
During a period of time that I left a few weeks , his father passed away. We rekindled, grieved, and became pregnant again. This time he was having a fully committed secret relationship with another woman, using a large amount of steroids, and had full control of every part of my life. He and his mother forced me to have an abortion through mental and verbal abuse, and guilt.
At the age 20, I had an abortion that I was not ready for and I did not want. It was devastating. I AM pro-choice, but this was not my choice. Your series has been very enlightening.
I am a married woman in my 50s. I had an abortion when I was Had I been given a safe alternative, I would have had and kept that child. I lived with what I thought would be my future husband.
My mistake was in thinking he ever wanted more than a housemate. I found out I was pregnant and immediately disclosed it, even though I was terrified.
He was already abusive. He had refused to let me take birth control, which cost money he was unwilling to provide. This was also a man who refused to let me use my own paycheck to buy new bras or underwear.
I was told if I had the child, he would kill us both, and he made no qualms about showing me what a good beating would cost us both. I made the choice. That said, I also left him, as soon as I was able to get to my own feet and finances. I got lucky, later. An abortion and birth control clinic was nearby and reasonably priced. I was 13 weeks when I finally found my way there. It broke my heart. It still breaks my heart. While I knew it was for the best, and for the safety of myself and my child, I also knew I would pay for it personally, emotionally, spiritually and physically.
And I did. It was horrible. I became terrified of needles and anything related to doctors. He made fun of me, as I cried over the whole thing. I spent weeks in pain afterwards. My heart never healed. That man, who was brother to one of my then-closest friend, came over after my first child was born.
I did get past the abortion, and over it—as much as possible, I suppose. I married a couple years later to a man who is still my husband. We have three beautiful children, after MANY miscarriages and losses due to that one abortion.
I have spent the remaining years of my life trying desperately to have healthy children and give them everything that I would have given to that precious child I was unable to keep. This anguished reader went right up to that line:. I was 19 years old at the time and a sophomore in college. I was on a full athletic scholarship and we were in the middle of our season.
I was on the birth control pill and would use it to skip periods. Also, being a college athlete, my periods were not very regular as it was. I bled a little and was confused, as I was taking the pill that should have prevented it at the time. I told my boyfriend that I thought I might be pregnant, so we took a pregnancy test and it came back negative. What a relief! Two weeks later , I began having symptoms and decided to take another test on my own. This time I took it first thing in the morning and it came back positive.
I was shocked. My first call was to my boyfriend; the second phone call was to schedule an appointment at an abortion clinic. There were no other options in mind. Our relationship was not stable, mature, or healthy.
I would lose my scholarship and could not afford college on my own. This was not the right time in so many ways. My boyfriend drove me to the appointment but waited in the car. I walked up to the door on my own and protestors were yelling horrible things at me.
There were posters with aborted fetuses and other terrible images. This made me want to go through with this even more, just to spite them and their actions. The waiting room was just as cold as the receptionist who never even made eye contact with me as I checked in. All of the women in the room looked down at their feet, ashamed.
When I was finally called back, it was a relief just to get out of the room. The first part was an ultrasound, and I was not even given the option to look at the screen; it was turned away from me.
I remember the look on her face and how it immediately told me something wrong. You are too far along for us to do anything here today. Would you like to speak to one of our counselors? I was adamant that I could only be a few weeks, since an earlier test was negative. There was a feeling of disbelief, helplessness, and hurt. I walked back out to the parking lot and called my boyfriend to come back. He gave me pamphlets on government programs that would assist me with a child.
My boyfriend and I cried in the car. I would have to go in the next week, since after that I would be over the week limit. We borrowed money from friends to pay for the two-day procedure that had taken place on Friday and Saturday , both game days for my team. I would have this procedure done in the morning and return to my team that evening, pretending as if nothing was out of the ordinary, to play in our games. On the first day I was awake and remember the doctor shoving sticks into my vagina to make me dilate.
It was uncomfortable, but bearable. When I got home I was in immense pain and cried in a bathtub of warm water. The following day I returned, and while in the waiting room, I struck up a conversation with another patient. I actually want my baby, but there is a medical condition and my doctor is making me do this.
I was taken into another cold room, put in the stirrups and put to sleep for the procedure. I woke up feeling relieved that it was all over. This would have given away my secret for sure. I graduated college and went on to get my masters. I am no longer with that boyfriend and now in a very successful job. I have a wonderful husband who knows nothing about my abortion, because I am too ashamed to tell him.
I have never forgotten that baby, and there is not a day that goes by that I do not feel sorrow and regret for what I did. I think about how the baby was aborted and if it felt any pain. Was it a male or female?
That innocent baby did not deserve the pain I put it through and my heart hurts so much. If I could go back, I would. None of this was explained to me at the time, and I must live with this for the rest of my life.
When my first child was born, I looked at him and realized he had sibling. This caused some severe depression, memories taking me back to that time, and a huge feeling of guilt. I felt unworthy of such a beautiful child and second chance.
I recently started reading your series about abortions , and while I have never had one, I would like to share some things. When my mother and father initially got together, she became pregnant and ended up having an abortion.
After my parents married, had us kids, then divorced, my father tried everything he could to gain custody of my sister and me. What did would haunt my sister forever. She was barely 10 years old when he took her aside to say her mom had killed her brother or sister, and did she really want to live with someone like that? At the time, my father was in agreement with the abortion and now he was trying to use it against my mother.
She said the abortion was the hardest thing she had ever done. That surprises people; they seem to think that since I have suffered heartbreaking loss, that I would be against abortion. But if my mom had not had one, I would not be here, nor would my son. And it goes back to a conversation I had with my mom as a teen, that mothers never forget no matter what they show the world.
It is not a decision done lightly, and they are doing what they believe is the hardest but best choice. And with loss can also come great joy. Coming from a native American reservation, where the drop-out rate is about 50 percent and teen pregnancy is high [see above], I felt pretty accomplished being in the city and in college.
So when I got pregnant, my life was over, or so I thought. I told my then-boyfriend, now husband, and he was beyond happy. In the following days and weeks we talked of things like names and outfits—the easy stuff. Then, reality set in. I remember talking with my boyfriend about abortion and how it was the right thing to do, doing everything to justify my reasons. He supported me from the beginning.
The next day I changed my mind and decided to take life by the horns and raise this child. This was an ongoing pattern for almost two months. Feeling depressed and losing my hair from the stress, I decided to walk into a clinic to see what my options were.
She never persuaded me, but instead listened. I made an appointment that day. After leaving the clinic I went to the nearest Dairy Queen and spent the last of my money on a milkshake.
For the first time in weeks, I felt like I could breathe. The following week I had my abortion. The different situations are explained below. If you are 14 years old or older, you can make the decision to have an abortion on your own. You have the right to decide whether to continue the pregnancy. They cannot make the decision in your place, and they cannot force you to have an abortion or continue the pregnancy.
However, if you have to stay in a health care institution, hospital or clinic for more than 12 hours, your parents or guardian must be notified. If you are 13 years old or younger, you cannot make the decision on your own: you need permission from your parents or guardian to have an abortion.
A person lacks the legal capacity to decide if she does not understand what an abortion is or does not understand the consequences of an abortion. This person can be a partner, guardian or close relative. If someone else has to make a decision for you about whether or not to have an abortion, the decision must be based on your interests alone. The person who makes the decision must take your wishes into account, if you can express them.
These abortions can only be performed at a facility approved by the Minister. What age can I get an Abortion? Aged 16 and over If you are aged 16 or over, then providing you are considered by the doctor to have sufficient maturity and understanding there would be nothing preventing you having the termination providing the medical practitioner is satisfied by the provisions set out in section 3 Heath Act see below and that you have given informed consent set out in section 5 Health Act see below.
Dependant minor under age 16 If you are under 16 years of age and supported by your parent s , you would need to have one parent informed, and be given the opportunity to participate in counselling before an abortion can be performed.
The law Section Criminal Code WA states: Abortion must be performed by a medical practitioner in good faith and with reasonable care and skill. Yashica Robinson, a board member with Physicians for Reproductive Health and the medical director at Alabama Women's Center for Reproductive Alternatives — in a state that just passed a near-total abortion ban, even in the case of rape or incest — says she has performed the procedure on some of the very people who protest abortions.
She offers to talk to both patient and parent together in her office something you might consider requesting at your local clinic. All that said, you know your parents best: Do you fear for your safety if you reveal your pregnancy? Are you worried they might meet you with violence or kick you out of the house? If yes, there is a legal option in 36 states that would let you get an abortion without parental approval called a judicial bypass procedure — an infantilizing holdup to which nobody should have to resort.
The process for a judicial bypass is different in every state, but in each case that it's an option, it involves a minor testifying before a judge and receiving court approval to access abortion care without telling their parents. Judicial bypasses take time — and abortions get more expensive, more complicated, and harder to access the later they happen — so the sooner you can start this process, the better.
And regardless of whether your state requires a bypass, you can contact your local abortion fund if you need help paying for it on your own.
0コメント